Help Save The Humpback and Sperm Whales By Watching Porn

In a step readied to make humpback and also sperm whale puns attractive, PornHub hasannounced itsnew program to assist conserve the whales.

To celebrate World Whale Day on February 13, PornHub has in fact promised to donate 1 cent for every 2,000 videos viewed on their website between February 8 to 29. All the earnings will absolutely go in the instructions of the charitable cetacean preservation groupThe Moclips Cetological Society (MCS).

The website obtains over 60 million website visitors a day, so all those moneys have to be coming in by the end of the month. In a claim, PornHub also revealed that site visitors will certainly be able to see anactive tracking counter on their homepage, which shows the quantity of money that’s being collected in real-time as people seek to blow their lots for an excellent cause.With existing figures, the overall has to reach concerning $27,000.

“People are not the only creatures that take part in sexual activities for factors besides procreation,”asserted Ken Balcomb, head of state of MCS, in a statement.

“Cetaceans whales, dolphins along with porpoises are rather sex-related animals in addition to have created a variety of interesting social life histories beyond easy procreation. Although our main purpose is to make sure effective conservation ofcetacean species, our school goal is to educate the general public concerning their social as well as natural lifestyles that visitors could uncover rather remarkable,” he consisted of.

Clearly, saving the whales is a very extreme business, with a number of varieties’ (yes, including sperm whales) preservation conditions remaining to be kept in mind as susceptible. So, probably its time to do your bit for the whales …

 

 

 

Learn more: http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/watch-porn-and-help-save-whales-month

PornHub.com Launches New Channel Devoted Solely To Virtual Reality Porn

Just seconds ago I was watching some porn thinking “I wish Ihad some sort of 360 3D view. That would really get me going“. Then I got told off and made to write an article. Luckily it’s about porn so I’m not that annoyed. But, you know… excuse any spelling mistakes. It’s hard typing with one hand…

Just joking. It’s easy.

Anyway, Pornhub (the kings of online porn) are teaming up with BaDointVR to showcase virtual reality pornography for all of its 60 million daily visitors.

Virtual reality is the next phase in the constantly metamorphosing world of adult entertainment, and will provide users with a mesmeric experience unlike anything theyve seen before,” said Pornhub VP Corey Price in a statement. “Now, our users are not only able to view our content, but be protagonists in the experience and interact with their favourite porn stars.”

Do people have favourite porn stars? Sometimes I feel like the only guy in the world who doesn’t know the name of any of them. Now would be a perfect time to start studying, really…

 

In light of this, Pornhub is offering videos with 180 and 360 degree videos that you can watch on desktop. However, they are optimised for Google Cardboard, Samsung Gear VR, and Oculus Rift. P-Hub are even giving away 10,000 cardboard goggles to celebrate the launch.

Just check out the advert – it’s seriously amazing…

What do you think? Into it? Let us know in the comments!

Read more: http://www.hellou.co.uk/2016/03/pornhub-launches-new-channel-devoted-to-virtual-reality-porn-85379/

Here’s Why You Can’t Orgasm All the Time, According To Science

Everyones fairly interested in sex, including scientists. If youve ever wondered what sex looks like via an ultrasound scanner, or youve pondered about how much sex you need to be happy, science has got you covered.

A team of researchers from the Mayo Clinic and the Indiana University School of Medicine have investigated why some people find it difficult to achieve orgasm, and theyve found that its not all in the mind. For men, reaching the proverbial peak is strongly controlled by a feedback loop in their nervous system, whereas womens ability to climax is largely determined by the position they prefer during sex.

The new study, published in the journal Clinical Anatomy, looked at a range of previous studies in an attempt to clarify the links between sexual anatomy and the ability to orgasm. Some of the studies included magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans of couples copulating, which provided information as to which sexual positions were the most likely to culminate in an orgasm.

When it comes to men, the performance of their penis came down to something called a reflex loop. As with any sense, the physical stimuli experienced by the penis are processed in both the brain and the spinal cord. This information helps the central nervous system then instruct the penis on how to proceed in a continual feedback loop. This loop is influenced not just by physical stimuli, but also psychological stimuli, such as explicit imagery of the object of their attraction.

Men and women reach orgasm quite differently, it seems. MBLifestyle/Shutterstock

Although this means that psychological problems and physical impairments in the central nervous system, including the brain, may make it harder to achieve orgasm, the researchers concluded in their assessment of previous studies that the physical stimuli-response part of the reflex loop is more likely to fail. This means that a mans ability to orgasm is strongly dependent on his central nervous system.

Failure could be also caused by an imbalance between the bodys parasympathetic nervous system, which controls the body during periods of rest, and the sympathetic nervous system, which influences the bodys adrenal and cardiovascular response during active periods. A medical examination will help to determine the cause in men experiencing problems in this regard.

For women, problems achieving orgasm are more related to sexual positioning. The researchers note that the closer the clitoris is to the vaginal wall during sex, the more likely an orgasm will occur. The clitoris actually migrates towards this wall during intercourse, and as the MRI scans revealed, different positions are variably effective in helping to encourage this.

The most ideal position, according to the study, is one that stimulates the front wall of the vagina, like missionary or cowgirl. They even noted that the ideal penis penetration degree was 30 to 45 degrees, but its probably inadvisable to bring a protractor to bed with you unless youre keen on killing the mood.

The authors conclude that orgasms are complex phenomena involving psychological, physiological, and anatomic variation. Its safe to say that, then, different folks certainly require different strokes, so to speak.

Photo Gallery

Read more: http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/why-men-and-women-sometimes-find-it-difficult-orgasm-according-science

10 Explicit Sex Illustrations You Won’t Believe Are On Wikipedia

The Internet contains so many ways to stumble across sex that we need special tools not to find it. Without SafeSearch even the most innocent Google inquiry can become obscenely biological. But there are sites out there, like Wikipedia, that want to both house all the knowledge in the world and stay SFW. This leaves them with the awkward task of finding pictures for sex acts that look more encyclopedic than pornographic, which may explain why Wikimedia contributors often decide to draw their own. But it doesn’t explain why they’re so hilariously awful. There are more biologically accurate pictures of Sonic the Hedgehog screwing BB-8. Brace yourself to behold the worst entries (in some cases literally) from Wikimedia’s sex drawings.

Be warned: All links on this page are really, ridiculously NSFW.

#10. Autofellatio

This is more artistry focused on a genetic dead end than a gallery of castrati portraits.

The only other “auto” to twist itself that hard for fun is an Autobot.

The subtle details of this picture raise more questions than they answer. Why is this guy still wearing his glasses, for one thing? NOBODY’s eyesight is that bad. And what about those sandals? They’ve been given more attention than his elbow and knee joints. Though, to be fair, he’s got to have destroyed most of those joints to get this far. It just seems strange that someone short-circuiting everything human biology has ever learned about sex would be so worried about foot protection.

The picture’s caption captures more pathos than a collection of Peanuts strips sucked into a black hole: “Looks like 69 position from some angles, but minus one participant.” As if the complete absence of a partner was only a minor technical variation from the 69.

Whatever answers one can gather from this work, “1st slagman” clearly found them, disappearing after uploading these and only these images to Wikipedia. What happened? We examine the autofellating clues. He’s cunningly worked out how to swallow any forensic evidence, but behold the pictures:

The increasingly unlikely series of positions forces us to conclude that this man has somehow twisted himself into a singularity.

#9. Phone Sex

An online picture for phone sex defeats the point on more levels than Mario with a jetpack. A picture might be worth a thousand words, but these days a phone line means you almost certainly have an Internet connection, and that means you have access to infinite images of real sex. Or, if you’re specifically into audio encouragement, you don’t want a picture at all. Besides, a second-party drawing a doodle for third-parties about a fourth-party getting off while talking to a fifth-party puts more layers between you and sex than using one of those Russian nesting dolls as a condom.

None of that will have prepared you for this picture:

The sheer innocent joy of the picture means it has to be criminal. Especially since it appears on the Norwegian Wikipedia page for “Telefoonseks,” which just sounds like an appallingly precocious educational cartoon. The inherent happiness almost distracts you from the conversation: That guy is talking about having big tits while rubbing his belly invitingly. So he’s either involved in very progressive roleplay, or catfishing the hell out of some poor jerk(er).

#8. Facial

Before the Internet, artists still made statements about sex and exploitation through other media. For example, Manet captured the world-weariness of a fallen woman in “A Bar At The Folies-Bergere.”

Have some culture before tackling the rest of this article.

The oranges represent the fact that the girl behind the counter is a prostitute and just as available for sale as the champagne she is serving. It is only a matter of time before she has to copulate with a man who means nothing to her.

But Manet’s masterpiece of oil on canvas has nothing on “Cumfac_01.png.” Maybe because he couldn’t explicitly get a cock in there.

“Why is this?” -Manet

Image files are meant to store mere kilobytes of graphical information, not all the tragedy and horror contained within the human spirit.

The dead look in the woman’s eyes elevates this image further by making you aware that you clicked this far specifically to see it instead of anything else ever created by humanity. Meanwhile, the sheer horror of being involved has apparently transformed the sperm into wallpaper paste. Maybe because anyone who can ejaculate while looking at this really should glue shut any orifice they’re allowed into to remove the risk of reproduction.

#7. Excited Blowjob

Wikipedia is meant to be a reference guide edited by experts, not the Web-based version of an 11-year-old desperately proving that they do so know what “sex” means by scribbling on their notebook in the back of class. Because when that happens, you get this:

We’re fairly sure that doesn’t need to be pixelated.

Witness the daring lack of line work suggesting that the penis is actually ejaculating her lips onto her face, combining appalling body-horror with exquisite aim. The disintegrating breast would be reminiscent of Picasso, if the whole thing wasn’t so unbelievably wrong.

This isn’t a contribution to the repository of human knowledge. This is someone who had tracing paper and five seconds access to a porno magazine. Quickly drawing your own dirty pictures might have made sense 20 years ago, back when somebody with a computer couldn’t see infinite blowjobs the instant they decided to do so. If this was traced from a real image, by someone who then deleted the photo, that means this picture is so bad it actively destroyed information about blowjobs.

#6. Impossible Male Masturbation

“M.C. Escher-bation” might seem like an appallingly painful and self-indulgent portmanteau, until you look at the act I am using it to describe:

“To come where no man has come before!”

That poor guy is breaking his knees on axes our universe doesn’t even have. I am sure at some point we’ve all gone to great lengths to get off, but those lengths were always measurable in Euclidean space. This guy is jacking off in a hellscape without any shadows to hide him, or help us work out the angle of that shelf he’s semi-squatting on. Either he’s knocking one out in Limbo or this is a tightrope walker with such bad sex addiction that he can’t even wait until he gets to the other side.

The demented determination to masturbate across all possible boundaries also captures the spirit of the artist. That’s because “Brallion~commonswiki” submitted this image to the Wikimedia “masturbation talk” page, which makes the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis look like Baby’s First ABC. It’s where Wikipedia editors have re-created most of the major religious schisms of history in one onanistic online argument. Some decried real pictures as lacking scientific merit. Others said the Internet didn’t need more masturbation material. One proposed possible Kantian a posteriori arguments against masturbation, as if the only posterior involved in masturbation shouldn’t be dat ass.

Alas, with such insane forces arrayed against him, even our 11-dimensional masturbator could not come through. He still lives on as a grim observer on the talk page, busily trying to distract himself from the madness the only way he knows how.

#5. Nipple Artifacts

Great artists sometimes talk about subjects simply leaping onto the page, ethereal visions of such urgent beauty that the artist is only a conduit to creation. Obviously, they’re lying. Art is really hard to do well. Especially when other parts of your body are also hard, as was clearly the case here. The artist — no, the creator — nope, the, uh, party responsible decided a woman licking another woman’s nipple was the best thing ever and simply couldn’t wait to create.

We’d rather pixelate this whole monstrosity, honestly.

No time to calm down! No time to learn how to draw! No time to tidy up all the telltale MS Paint mistakes that make the picture look like it’s been lightly dusted in sugar. He had a vision of a woman who suffered a serious head injury just behind her hairline working her way down a viciously taloned Bride of Frankenstein in fishnet stockings, and the world needed it to exist ASAP. Also, you can’t see it because of the pixelation (lucky you), but she thoughtfully used her own eyeshadow and neon pink lipstick to mark the location of her nipple on the melted mess of her chest.

#4. Bukkake Friends

The last time we looked into this abyss, Cyriaque struggled to comprehend the artwork of “seedfeeder.” But that artist had so many more seeds to feed. Almost literally, in this case.

Her happy place is on the opposite side of the universe.

The best thing about this picture, “best” being an adjective I’ve now destroyed, along with the word “picture,” is how all the men have considerately arranged themselves to one side, sitcom-style, so that the audience can see what’s going on. Which is strangely out of character because consideration for others is not a defining trait of bukkake gangs. Though they’re more diverse than most popular sitcoms. Not that I would know.

More disturbing is how the artist has somehow gifted the woman with an understanding of her situation. She could have been drawn in a magical fantasy land where the rain of man-juice is an enjoyable experience. But no. She knows where she is. She’s not just ground zero of a gentleman juicing; she knows she’s doing it for free on an allegedly educational website.

#3. A Facial Proposal

Of all the sex acts that don’t need a diagram, the facial has to be the most obvious. Anyone who can’t work it out after hearing the word is an alien trying to trick you into revealing the secrets of this hu-man thing called “pornography.” The only diagram you need for facials is one with red areas over the eyes, nostrils, and hair saying “DON’T BE A DICK WITH YOUR DICK.”

“Oh, dear, OF COURSE I’ll be your manly-milk sponge!”

Unlike the earlier facial artist, seedfeeder has gone all-in on the pleasure with the woman here, in more ways than one. She looks like he’s just proposed instead of popping all over her. Which in fairness may be the last original wedding proposal mechanism left in the world, complete with a cunning role-reversal of who’s kneeling. She’s even got tears in her eyes, though that’s more because of his aim than his intent.

#2. Repeated War-Hole

After a while any artist will try to start challenging themselves. They have to move beyond their own comfort zone, and when your early works involved fisting and finger-pulping double-penetration that can be a challenge. So what did seedfeeder do? Try a new perspective? Go on a retreat? Draw something that wasn’t explicitly pornographic? No, they moved on to mixed-media, a porno-pop-art project drawing the same thing with different fill effects.

“DAS AYNYAL” ($58.99, some assembly required)

The first is a bold flat-color effect, as if someone colored instructions from IKEA. (And, like trying to put together a bookshelf, these instructions also look simple but can involve an awful lot of fiddling and cursing to actually complete).

After this the only place to go is the theoretical “B-nal.”

The second is a daring extension into the third dimension. The same sexual lines (and the artist goes to great lengths to make sure they are sexual but definitely not sexy) are thinned, while the color advances through thick bands of flesh tone. Almost as if old 16-bit consoles really were trying to corrupt children the way parents thought.

Also, you are missing out on seedfeeder’s attention to detail in the new image with the slight reddening of her ring because of our pixelation, which has made the resulting flowing-together digital sex-slurry infinitely more horrifying. Sorry.

#1. All Peoples Coming Together

Thank the dear god Qetesh, finally one where the woman is enjoying herself. And you’d want to be enjoying yourself to become the organic engine block for a pork piston two-stroke engine.

Try to ignore the DECAPITATION NECROPHILIA.

The top guy is so devoted to her pleasure he’s pounded his own hand to jelly and is still bracing himself with the floppy flesh-sausages to help her reach orgasm. We’re getting a clearer view inside the artist than the woman, though: Most of these diagrammatic damsels are undecorated, but double penetration lady is suddenly wearing earrings and lipstick. Seedfeeder is clearly working through a few internalized stereotypes as well as X-rated acts.

It’s worth noting this explicit portrayal of multi-penis intercourse has better diversity and gender ratios than both Marvel and DC movie universes. Though, ironically, not better than the DP movie. Something we’re sure he’d enjoy.

See how Wikipedia members use page vandalism like gangs in a turf war in Wikipedia Hates Women: 4 Dark Sides Of The Site We All Use, and find more strange sex illustrations in The 6 Most Terrifying Sex Illustrations On Wikipedia.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel to see the Agents of Cracked take on Wikipedia in Hack Wikipedia And You’re Never Wrong | Agents Of Cracked | Episode 9, and watch other videos you won’t see on the site!

Also follow us on Facebook. Or don’t. It’s your life. But we would really like it if you did.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/10-sex-techniques-explained-terribly-wikipedia/

How Long Does Sex Normally Last For the Average Couple?

If youre a non-scientist, you might have once asked yourself, propped against the bedhead after disappointingly quick intercourse, how long does sex normally last?

A scientist, though, would phrase the same question in an almost comically obscure way: What is the mean intravaginal ejaculation latency time?

I know theres a lot more to sex than putting the penis into the vagina and ejaculating, but the rest is not always easy to define (kissing? Rubbing? Grinding?). To keep things simple and specific, well just focus on the time to ejaculation.

Measuring an average time to ejaculation is not a straightforward matter. What about just asking people how long they take, you say? Well, there are two main problems with this. One is that people are likely to be biased upwards in their time estimates, because its socially desirable to say you go long into the night.

The other problem is that people dont necessarily know how long they go for. Sex isnt something people normally do while monitoring the bedside clock, and unassisted time estimation may be difficult during a transportative session of love-making.

What does the research say?

The best study we have estimating the average time to ejaculation in the general population involved 500 couples from around the world timing themselves having sex over a four-week period using a stopwatch.

That is as practically awkward as it sounds: participants pressed start at penile penetration and stop at ejaculation. You may note this could affect the mood somewhat, and might perhaps not exactly reflect the natural flow of things. But science is rarely perfect, and this is the best weve got.

So what did the researchers find? The most striking result is that there was a huge amount of variation. The average time for each couple (that is, averaged across all the times they had sex) ranged from 33 seconds to 44 minutes. Thats an 80-fold difference.

Yeah, sexy. Matthew/Flickr, CC BY

So its clear theres no one normal amount of time to have sex. The average (median, technically) across all couples, though, was 5.4 minutes. This means that if you line up the 500 couples from shortest sex to longest sex, the middle couple goes for an average of 5.4 minutes each time they do it.

There were some interesting secondary results, too. For example, condom use didnt seem to affect the time, and neither did mens being circumcised or not, which challenges some conventional wisdom regarding penile sensitivity and its relationship to staying power in the sack.

It didnt much matter which country the couples came from either unless they came from Turkey, in which case their sex tended to be significantly shorter (3.7 minutes) than couples from other countries (Netherlands, Spain, the United Kingdom, and the United States). Another surprising finding was that the older the couple, the shorter the sex, contrary to the prevailing wisdom (probably peddled by older men).

Why do we have sex for so long?

As an evolutionary researcher, all this talk of how long sex lasts make me wonder: Why does it last any time at all? All sex really needs to achieve, it seems, is to put sperm into the vagina. Why all the thrusting and bumping? Instead of sliding the penis in and out many hundreds of times per sexual session, why not just put it in once, ejaculate, and then go have a lemonade and get on with the rest of the day?

Despite the in-out being fun, does it serve a purpose biologically? from www.shutterstock.com

Before you say, Because its fun to go in and out!, remember evolution doesnt care about fun per se it generally only designs things to be enjoyable if they helped our ancestors pass on their genes to future generations. For example, even though we like eating food, we dont chew each mouthful of it for five minutes just to make the enjoyment last longer. That would be inefficient, and so weve evolved to find it gross.

Why we last so long is a pretty complicated question with no clear answer, but a clue may be in the way the penis is shaped. In 2003, researchers showed using artificial vaginas, artificial penises, and artificial sperm (corn syrup) that the ridge around the head of the penis actually scoops out pre-existing syrup from the vagina.

What this suggests is that mens repeated thrusting might function to displace other mens semen before ejaculating, ensuring their own swimmers have a better chance of reaching the egg first. Incidentally, this could explain why it becomes painful for a man to continue thrusting after ejaculating, since that would risk scooping out his own semen as well.

So what to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

 

Brendan Zietsch, Research Fellow, The University of Queensland

Read more: http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/how-long-does-sex-normally-last

0